Defeated

That pretty much sums up how I've been feeling lately.

Today was actually a good day, as far as work goes. Except for the usual baby/pregancy talk, which inevitably happens in a faculty room. This time, it's a girl who was talking about how she and her husband are going to start trying in the summer, and how she's afraid that it won't happen right away, blah blah blee......so then it ultimately starts the "well, your egg quality goes down the older you get...." conversation, and how it was SO HARD when they didn't get pregnant right away and they thought SOMETHING WAS WRONG with them when it didn't happen that first month......and how they feel SO BADLY for me and my "situation"......

You know the drill. I don't need to go on, right? I just crammed my sandwich in my mouth to refrain from motherfucking them up and down, and got the hell out of Dodge.

Then, another teacher, a mother of three, who remarked on the bracelets that I was wearing: "God, how do you find the time to accesorize in the morning? I'm lucky I have clean underwear on.....". Yeah, well, when you're barren, it gives me a lot of time in the mornings to lounge out in my silk robe and ostrich-trimmed mules, idly picking out jewelry from a muscled hunk wearing no shirt.....NOT.

And, the third.......well, I just don't know how to feel about this. I (stupidly) did an audition at a theatre where I used to do A LOT of work. I stopped auditioning there when I was very obviously passed over for a part due to a snit between a director and producer, so it was a "tit for tat" situation. Well, my stupid ass decided to give it another try, and I was called back for a great part. A part that I did a really great callback for. And, didn't get the part-which, isn't the shitty part. The shitty part is that they offered it to a friend of mine, who DIDN'T EVEN AUDITION FOR THAT PART. She was going for another one, so they gave her a consolation prize, basically. Which she decided to accept. After she told me that if she didn't get XYZ part (the one she really wanted) she didn't want to do a show. Yeah, that lasted long. She actually emailed me and told me, and I really don't know how to respond to it. On one hand, I'm really upset and I want to call her out on it, but on the other hand, would I do the same thing? Probably not-I'm not in the habit for accepting roles that I'm not sure I'm right for. Plus, we're supposed to go out to a black-tie thingie with them on Sunday, and quite frankly, if I hadn't already spent money on a dress I'd tell her to piss off.

And, let's add into the mix that my HSG and saline sonogram are on Wednesday, I'm on Doryx again and it's seriously fucking up my stomach. I can't even take it with yogurt, since it says on the bottle not to take vitamins, antacids or dairy within two hours of taking the antibiotics.

*Sigh* It just seems a bit much sometimes, and sometimes just going from day to day is an exhausting chore.

Dude, I Can't Make This Shit Up Myself

I had one of my kindergarten classes on Tuesday afternoon. Their teacher, who is also a friend of mine, has a daughter who is a Music Ed. major in undergrad. Her daughter (let's call her Smiley, because she's cheerful and always has a smile on her face) has come into my classroom from time to time with her boyfriend (another Music Ed major) during her school breaks to observe the goings-on in my classes and pick up any pointers (which are ALWAYS eye-opening, I'm sure, since I'm a nutjob). Well, Smiley is now doing her senior field work, in preparation for graduating next month, and has been placed in a suburban district that's close to NYC. She started out in the high school and is now in the elementary schools (which is pretty typical in a program, since here in NJ Music, Art and PE teacher licenses are valid for teaching Kindergarten through 12th grade). So, her mother (my teacher friend) tells me that Smiley is starting to realize just how tough Elementary Ed can be, and how you need to be on your toes at all times.

She told her mother that she was observing the Cooperating Teacher one day last week in a primary lesson (I'm not sure if it was Kindergarten or 1st Grade), and she was teaching the song "Little Bunny Foo-Foo" to the class. She gets through the first two stanzas of the song with the children, then, just before she gets to the last verse (where Little Bunny Foo-Foo is turned into a Goon),she asks the class, "So, boys and girls, what do you think happens to Little Bunny Foo-Foo?"

And, one of the children promptly raises his hand and says:



"Little Bunny Foo-Foo's fucked!"



I swear to you, this is TRUE. Even I'm not that creative.


This, my friends, is the "educational miracle" that is the No Child Left Behind Law. Way to go, Dubya!

Ta-Dah!

Isn't it FABULOUS!?!?!

Denise from Moodswing Creations is a genius! Thanks for an awesome layout!

Spring Cleaning

Although, it's frickin' cold as HELL here. They're even talking about snow, for fuck's sake. SNOW, people. In April. In New Jersey, not Minnesota.

Sheesh..........I knew we should've gone away this year. Don't you hate when you don't trust your instincts?

So, I've been cleaning like a crazy woman today, especially since my friend Tina came over yesterday to find me still in my pajamas and the house a hellhole. Can we say "a little bit embarassed?" I know you can! I apparently misheard her voicemail message saying that she'd be over at 10:30, after her doctor's appointment (I thought she said her appointment ended at 10:30). So, I had to scramble to clean myself up so we could have a nice lunch date and do some shopping.

And today, I decided to get off of my fat rear (okay, it's not as fat as it was-the miracle of the gym! Woot!) and actually finish the laundry and run the vacuum cleaner and attempt to dust. Ergh.

It totally makes me think that perhaps, we need to employ a cleaning lady. The hubs thinks we'd seem snobbish if we did that. I maintain that it will free up time that we could potentially spend with each other. Let's face it-after working all week long, do you really want to spend the weekend cleaning the damn house? And, since I've got the church job and he does side carpentry on the weekends, we don't really have a full weekend free.

Of course, the MIL had to put her two cents in ("Oh, why would you want to do that? I'd hate to waste money like that, when I could do it myself"). Of course, if she's offering to do it, then cool. Otherwise, well...........you know what I'm thinking.......

I think I've almost got him convinced. Perhaps some "servicing" might be in order..........

Heh.

Oh, yeah-look out for some spring cleaning around here, too. I won't give away any details, but it's going to be really cool.......

I think I've almost got him convinced