Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Large National Lab Blows

So, I called the IVF Coordinator today to find out where the dilly-o my blood results were. They were supposed to be in by today (according to IVF Coordinator).

Well, I called, and OF COURSE they weren't in, and she had to call Evil National Lab from Hell, who told her that they had SOME of the results ready, but the rest won't be ready until the end of the week. After they originally told her on Friday that the results would all be ready by today.

So, what the FUCK?? Does it normally take this long? It's starting to freak me out, because it's making me feel as if perhaps there is something wrong. Like they're going to find something.

Motherfuckers. May the fleas of a thousand camel infest the armpits and nether regions.

After they get the testing done, of course.......I'd hate to have fleas in my test results.

Monday, October 29, 2007


I've really been a shitty blogger, haven't I?

Don't answer that.....

Seriously, it's been hard to post lately. Not just because I've been busy with work and such, but also because there seems to be a lot of crappy things that have been going on the past few weeks, such as:

*Grandmother being in the hospital and being diagnosed with Factor V Leiden/S-protein defenciency (although she no longer has the PICC line in and is now home-yay!)

*Having 12 (!) vials of blood drawn for a thrombophilia panel and other lovely clotting tests to see if I have inherited this wonderful genetic mutation from Grams (haven't found out yet-probably tomorrow or Wednesday).

*Getting the monthly bloodflow AGAIN (what else is new, right?)

*My blog template sucking royal ASS because the designer skipped Virtual Town and leaving my blog high and dry, and getting a crash course in blog design (thanks to a handy-dandy program in my laptop that I didn't even know I had!) to try to fix it.

*A resigning from church as Music Director (due to differences between him and the new pastor), the choir pretty much falling apart, and me probably being out of the cantoring/church job in about two weeks.

*Oh, yeah........and I'm not pregnant. Again. So, what else is new?


Sunday, October 28, 2007


Whaddya think of the new template??

And, guess what?


Okay, I'm done patting myself on the back now.....

Monday, October 08, 2007

A Missing Piece of the (Fertility) Puzzle?

Another one of the reasons that my postings have been spotty as of late is because my grandmother (my father's mother) is in the hospital. And, some very interesting things have developed due to this.

About three weeks ago, my grandmother (who lives in Boston with my 95 year old grandfather) was on the phone with my mother; she had been to the dentist earlier in the day and had Novocaine, and wanted to know how long it would take for the medication to wear off. During the conversation, she suddenly started babbling and garbling her speech-my mother went directly into "nurse-mode" and was trying to tell her to call for help.

At which point, my grandmother hung up the phone. And, my mother had no emergency numbers to call anyone else (my grandfather's nephew and his family live on the third floor of the building). Frantic, my mother kept redialing and tried to see how to call 911 when out of state.

Finally, my grandmother answered the phone. She was able to talk, and everything seemed fine. My mother insisted that she go to the doctor's the next day, but of course, my grandmother being the stubborn old bird that she is, hemmed and hawed about it.

Until the next day, when she still didn't feel well. My grandfather's nephew brought her (under duress) to the doctor. Who promptly admitted her to the hospital.

It was determined that she did have a stroke, but luckily it didn't affect her speech. She's been hospitalized before due to clots-once with a DVT (deep vein thrombosis) of the leg and a PE (pulmonary embollism) in her lung. But, up until this point, it never resulted in a stroke. So, she was observed, given medication, and released.

Three days later she ended up back in the hospital, because the arm in which they placed the IV began to swell. It turns out that she has a blood infection from the IV line (can we say "potential negligence due to a non-sterile field"?? Yah..). They also find ANOTHER CLOT in her arm, where the IV was, so they had to put in a PICC, gave her Coumadin, and now have to release her to a subacute facility for four weeks of additional IV antibiotic therapy. The hematologists then decided to do a more extensive blood analysis to see what's going on.

The testing shows that she has Factor V Leiden and Protein-S Deficiency. We're not yet sure whether the gene mutation is homo- or heterozygous, or what else is affected. But, she's had it her entire life. Which explains why it took so long for her to get pregnant. And why she had miscarriages before and after having my father, who is an only child, since FVL increases the risk of miscarriage, preeclampsia and placental abruption.

Ah, the wonders of modern medicine. For years, my grandmother thought that her infertility was "God's will", but it was just a case of genetics. It only took her 89 years to find it out.

So..........guess who's now getting tested for it? Yup. It's very likely that I have the mutation, given the family history (a few of my grandmother's sisters and brothers had strokes and similar clotting issues), but we won't know for sure until the tests are run. My father and brother also will need to be tested, and my mother is thinking of it also, because she has no idea if it's in her family.

Could this be the missing piece of the puzzle for me? Will finding this out help me get pregnant? Not that I want an additional diagnosis, really........but, if this is what's keeping me from getting (and staying pregnant), and it can be treated, then bring it on. I'm more than ready.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


You know the old saying, "when it rains, it pours"?

Yep. That's my life right now, in a nutshell. It seems as if everything's FUBAR.

Firstly, work is kicking my butt. I got new special ed classes added to my schedule this year-autistic kids. Who are nonverbal. Two who have "regular seizures" and are not on any medications. One of who had a seizure about half an hour after he left my class this morning.

Not much fun.

Then, my blog. For some reason, I no longer have my bitchin' graphic. Emails to Moodswing Creations are coming back to me with delivery failures, and the Moodswing site is down. So, no more bitchin' graphic, unless Denise contacts me.........hopefully everything's okay....

And then, I started spotting on 9/21. Since my period wasn't due until the 28th, and spotting for a week before isn't exactly normal, I called the RE's office. Who relayed that they wanted me in on Wednesday for bloodwork and a date with the wand.

Nurse Blondie called me back that afternoon-the wanding showed that I'm in my luteal phase (duh!), and they ran a beta just for shits and giggles.

Which came back at 2.61.

Since anything over 5 is considered preggo, I had to go back in on Friday for another bloodletting. Of course, I get my period within a half hour of getting home from the aforementioned bloodletting.

This beta came back at 2.7. So, back on Monday. I've now acquired a lovely bruise the size of a quarter on my right arm.

Monday's beta was 3.3. Still negative, as far as they were concerned. So, I have to go back in on the 8th for more torture........uh......I mean bloodwork.

Now, I asked Nurse Blondie why in the hell I would have any kind of beta number if I was so obviously not pregnant. She's calling it a "lab error" or "lab sensitivity". But......wouldn't the number be going down, not up? I did ask if I ever had this happen in any other cycling I did, and the answer was "no", so this definitely isn't normal for me. Of course, when you look up "HCG in non pregnant women", it comes up with wonderful references of ovarian tumors and pituitary tumors. God forbid. Anyone out there have this happen to them? Or am I just the only physiological freak here?

Isn't it the ultimate kick in the ass? Getting a beta number and knowing you're not pregnant-it's just another way that the universe is giving me the virtual finger and laughing hysterically.

Just my fucking bad luck, I guess. Honestly, though-I'm just tired of being the one who always has the crappy luck, though. I just want a baby. Why does that seem like it's too much to ask for?