Thursday, April 19, 2007

Dude, I Can't Make This Shit Up Myself

I had one of my kindergarten classes on Tuesday afternoon. Their teacher, who is also a friend of mine, has a daughter who is a Music Ed. major in undergrad. Her daughter (let's call her Smiley, because she's cheerful and always has a smile on her face) has come into my classroom from time to time with her boyfriend (another Music Ed major) during her school breaks to observe the goings-on in my classes and pick up any pointers (which are ALWAYS eye-opening, I'm sure, since I'm a nutjob). Well, Smiley is now doing her senior field work, in preparation for graduating next month, and has been placed in a suburban district that's close to NYC. She started out in the high school and is now in the elementary schools (which is pretty typical in a program, since here in NJ Music, Art and PE teacher licenses are valid for teaching Kindergarten through 12th grade). So, her mother (my teacher friend) tells me that Smiley is starting to realize just how tough Elementary Ed can be, and how you need to be on your toes at all times.

She told her mother that she was observing the Cooperating Teacher one day last week in a primary lesson (I'm not sure if it was Kindergarten or 1st Grade), and she was teaching the song "Little Bunny Foo-Foo" to the class. She gets through the first two stanzas of the song with the children, then, just before she gets to the last verse (where Little Bunny Foo-Foo is turned into a Goon),she asks the class, "So, boys and girls, what do you think happens to Little Bunny Foo-Foo?"

And, one of the children promptly raises his hand and says:

"Little Bunny Foo-Foo's fucked!"

I swear to you, this is TRUE. Even I'm not that creative.

This, my friends, is the "educational miracle" that is the No Child Left Behind Law. Way to go, Dubya!


cat said...

Technically the kid is correct. Foo Foo is kinda fucked. He was bopping those field mice kinda hard and he had been warned to cut that shit out by the fairy previously.

That rabbit may indeed be royally fucked, gotta give the kid some credit for his street knowledge.

OHN said...

I doubt this child will make it all the way to his high-school graduation without some interaction with local law enforcement :)

Wouldn't you love to be the one that calls juniors parents to tell them?? Chances are they wouldn't "get" the problem :)

ilyse said...


Nickie said...

If my child EVER uses that sort of languange with a teacher - he WILL be very sorry.

I don't know how you do it - teaching in public schools these days. My mom does sub teaching and the crap she tells me about is just insane. Someone needs to parent these children and teach them about respect. Makes me nuts.

And you're right, Thanks for fucking nothing Dubya!

laura said...

Holy crap. I cannot believe he said that. Well, I guess I can. But holy crap.

Carol said...

oh my.

I mean, Cat is right. But still.

Sad reality is that the parents probably think it's no big deal.

Tara said...

If someone were to read this post and laugh out loud because they found it funny, would that make them a bad person? Hypothetically speaking of course...

tryingin2007 said...


oh, and by the way, I nominated you for the "thinking blogger award."

prettykitty said...

I was a teacher in Chicago (now a school counselor) for ten years and that is a fuckin' funny story! I had this kid get irritated at another kid and he screams, "You're momma sucks cock!" It was so hard not to laugh.