I finally did it. I joined the gym, so I can get this blubber off of my body and I can wear a teeny-weenie bikini on the beach this summer......
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! That was a good one, wasn't it? I think I tinkled in my panties.
Seriously, I did send in the $$ to join a local fitness center (starting with B and ending with an 's). I honestly would've never done it on my own, due to the cost, but we get an educator's discount through our union, which is pretty damn cool. I need to get my ass moving, get physically fit and feeling better about my body. Plus, I got one of those IPod Shuffles for Christmas, and I can't wait to try it out on the treadmill. Now, I just need to get some new sneakers and sweats-they're really old and looking a little tired. M also belongs to the same location (although, through the deal we can go to any location in the country), so we were talking about going together a few days out of the week and be each other's moral support.
Well, what else has been going on? School has settled in, although not in the smoothest of ways. It didn't help that one of the BD kids flipped out last week (he had to be removed from school in an ambulance), so it put people on edge. That, and the visit from the Dept of Ed at our other school-there was a scurrying about to prep and primp and show our best work. It was one of the few times that I was glad I'm not a classroom teacher-they don't really care about the "Specials" as much, and I wasn't under the scrutiny.
Nothing much on the fertility front, unless you can count waiting for "You Know Who" (and no, it ain't Voldemort). I've decided that this month I'll be calling it "Playing banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band"-it sounds catchy, no? Once that happens, we'll be on board for "FET#4-The Last of the Red-Hot Embryos". We're really hoping that perhaps these 3-day ones might be a little stronger for us and, uh.........perhaps work. Although I know that it's a lot to ask, but I'll dare to.
I do have to say I'm quite proud to made it through the holidays with the minimum amount of feeling down, which is a positive thing. And, that's even with not one, but two pregnancy announcements (one from Sean's cousin and his wife, who go to our church, the other, his best friend S). I'm actually amazed that it didn't upset me as it usually would. Could it be that perhaps I'm more accepting of my infertility? Or maybe I'm more accepting of my fate-I've come to the point that I almost expect the FET's to fail, and, to be honest, if it did work for me I'd be shocked. Who knows, really. But, I do know this-I need to see it through to the end, whatever the outcome. Whether or not we'll continue treatments after this has never been discussed. There's never been a "Plan B". Sean once mentioned that he's not altogether comfortable with adoption, which I have to respect. A decision like that has to be in 100% agreement, and you can't force someone to do something that they aren't sure of. Anyways, we aren't at that point of a "Plan B" yet. We still have a little fight left in us.
And we're going to fight like hell.