Monday, March 26, 2007

Yo.

So, I am still here, and lurking about your blogs (hell, I'm even commenting on a few, too!). I haven't updated mine since I really don't have much to say lately, at least on the vajayjay front. I have an appointment with Dr. Pipsqueak on Thursday afternoon, so I'm sure that I'll update everyone as soon as I hear what she has to say.

The green cloud of ass has left the building; however, I think that it somehow passed through my colon on its way out the door, because I had the WORST ass-rippin' for about four days. I mean, BAD, people. What made it worse was the accompanying.....uh.....poopies (or should I say, "water-ca-ca") with the gas which had me living in the bathroom for about five days. Poor Buddy has scorch marks on the white parts of his fur, and won't sit on my lap anymore. Boo. Oh, well.

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Let's see, what else? Work sucks large hairy testicles. I really don't talk in great detail about the specifics of work here, in case of any potential doocing, but it is getting to the point that I need to get into another district. The kids are getting ruder and ruder (I had a third grader tell me to kiss his ass today, and a fourth grader sass me back like I was one of the kids-nothing was done about it), the administration does nothing to support you in terms of discipline, and expect you to let shit like that roll off your back. Plus, because of what I teach, I'm at the bottom of the food chain as far as anyone is concerned (music? who needs that?). Then add a supervisor who, when you voice those concerns, says to you "Well, what do you want me to do about it?". Nice.

Here's the problem-it's not having to start all over in another district-I'm okay with that. It's starting over as an infertile teacher in a new district. I didn't start IVF cycles until I got tenure, so I could be protected, just in case. It's one of those things that I wonder about-is the stress of dealing with bullshit and passing the buck contributing to my cycle failure? If I removed myself from that situation and changed jobs, would my stress levels go down and make me more apt to get (and stay) pregnant? Or, does it really matter in the end? I could wait until I get pregnant, go on maternity leave and just not come back-either get a job in another district or maybe sub for a while (although subbing won't be counted into my pension and retirement benefits later on) until I find the right job. Of course, that all depends if I can get pregnant, right? Right.

These are the things that have been rolling around in my head for the past two weeks. There are times that I'd really love the burden could be taken off of me for awhile, just so I can breathe. I'm not asking that it be taken away from me altogether, but a vacation from it would be lovely.

Being a grownup just sucks sometimes.

10 comments:

the queen said...

not sure if changing jobs would help but it's worth a try. I'm of the opinion that "crap" goes on at any job, just different crap. Anyway, hope you figure things out.

Adrienne said...

I thought quitting my job would be the answer to all of my IF woes. Au contraire! I had another miscarriage anyway.

I hope the stress-load at work lightens up for you. And that you get good news from Dr. P. on Thursday.

Isabel said...

Is there such as thing as a sabbatical for teachers? I know profs get them, and instructors at JCs. I wonder if there's a way you take like a year off or something. Or an exchange year? Grasping at straws, here, sorry.

Gil said...

As per Mel's comment week: You're right. Being an adult does suck. But we've come this far and I dunno about you, but I'd hate to do it ALL over again. Sometimes though a break is SO very needed.
I'm hoping workplace stress becomes less of a factor for you. Hopefully an upcoming vacation or time away will re-energize you? Try it if you possibly can. It usually works for me. Sending all the best. *hugs*

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

I can relate to your job woes and worries about seeking IF treatment while switching jobs - or applying for jobs and waiting and waiting and waiting, in my case. It all just sucks and I often long for a break from the stress! Not to mention the wonderings as to whether or not my current career stress is keeping me from getting pregnant. Ugh.
You are not alone!

Lut C. said...

I heard fennel tea is helpfull against gassiness. If it doesn't help, it can't hurt.

What makes you think kids in other district will be any better behaved?

shazz said...

Being grown up sometimes does suck!!

Anonymous said...

Hey there! Just wanted to let you know your blog has been a huge support and comfort for me. I've been struggling with infertility for over two years, and on those days where I feel like I'm going to completely LOSE IT (days ending in y) I will often log on to read your most recent post. It almost always cheers me up. I'm not the least bit happy other people have to endure this HELL, but somehow it helps to know there are in fact others out there. Usually I feel like no one else in the world can relate to how I'm feeling. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!

Alice said...

Re: Karyotyping.

The comments aren't open on your previous post--so I'm posting here! Sorry! Due to recurrent miscarriages, both my husband and I have had karyotyping done. Basically they take a picture of your chromosomes to look for any chromosomal abnormalities. The karyotype is an organized profile of a person's chromosomes. They are arranged and numbered by size, largest to smallest. They then look for chromosomal alterations that could result in a genetic disorder, such as extra or missing chromosomes or structural abnormalities, like translocations or duplications. Trisomies, in which three copies of a chromosome are present instead of the usual two, are common numerical abnormalities. An individual can carry an abnormality and it will only affect their offspring--not themselves. For example, one could be a carrier for Down's.

Karyotyping is looking for abnormalities (which could result in the inability for offspring to survive) whereas genetic testing is looking for the vulnerability to inherited diseases (such as diabetes, cancers, sickle cell anemia) and can also be used to determine a person's ancestry.

S said...

Thanks Alice!! For some reason I disabled the comments *facepalm*, so I turned them back on....

Thanks for the info!