Friday, July 20, 2007

To Pee, Or Not To Pee?

"To pee, or not to pee, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the bladder to suffer
The emptying of urine without testing,
Or to use sticks against a tide of unsurety,

And by peeing, end them. To pee, to know;
The answer; and by peeing to say we end
the heart-ache and endless obsessing
That we infertiles are heiresses to-'tis an all-consuming

Desire to be had. To pee, to know;
To pee, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub;
For in using that HPT we can confirm what dreams may come...."
*shamelessly raped from Hamlet, Act III

I'm going back and forth between obsessing over the last Harry Potter book and obsessing over whether or not to POAS-on the very last stick I have in the house, as a matter of fact. Since I can't afford to get any more pee-sticks, I'm trying to hold out as long as possible, but today's temptation is tough. I mean, it really IS too early, right? RIGHT?

Help me out here, people.

Let's obsess over potential signs and symptoms, shall we?

Spotting and cramping on 8dpo (and some residual today)? Check.
Ever-so-slightly-sore boobs? Check.
Frequent peeing? Check (although it just might be due to the amount of water I'm chugging down).
Sudden hunger pangs? Check.
Bloated a tiny bit? Check.
Can't stay up past 10pm? Check.

It could be PMS, but it could also be a BFP.

God, I loathe progesterone-it's the ultimate mind fuck.

Unless,of course, I really am the P word (I refuse to say it, I won't!).....then it could be my Bestest Friend in the World.

I'm still prepping for the call to the RE next week to start the Poonanny Circus that will come to be known as "IVF#4" . If things work the way they should (because let's face it-me getting "P" on a natural cycle is akin to pigs suddenly taking flight), you, my lucky friends, will get a chance to enter the "name my next IVF cycle" contest that I'm planning. The winner will get their slogan duly noted for posterity.

Hey, you've got to make SOMETHING about this crap fun where you can, right?

Totally Necessary Disclaimer: Okay, I freely admit-my iambic pentameter's not perfect, so if there are any English or Lit instructors out there, please please don't crucify me.


Kim said...

I was going to offer you some great words of wisdom, when I suddenly came to my senses. Considering that I DID pee on a stick this morning in the hopes that perhaps this one last natural cycle before starting IVF would yield results (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!), I guess I don't really have any right to give advice.

So I guess my first comment here is only to express solidarity. Definitely not to give advice.

cat said...

Holy crap... that was funny. I'm still snorting over here luv.


Did you pee?

Thalia said...

In my experience, day 12 is a pretty reliable day to pee, which I think is tomorrow for you? So me, I'd go ahead. At least you've got harry potter to keep you busy if it's not positive.

Chili said...

I always intend to hold out till 13DPO, but I always give in early. Hope you're a "one last natural cycle" success story!

Nugget-Maker said...

I threw in the towel and bawled my eyes out and wanted to kill th eworld because this cycle was a bust then I ended up with a symptomless BFP so PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nugget-Maker said...


shazz said...

MMMMMMMMMMM interesting question..... I think pee sticks are evil but hey its the way you find out huh. So now that I have said that......DID YOU PEE???

Shelli said...

wow - you have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on your hands! ;)

BRILLIANT, however.

And I'm so sorry that the beyotch is here.

Megan said...

I'm making a copy of that poem and posting it over my toilet!! That was, seriously, the funniest thing I've heard in awhile. There really is a complete swirling of the mind when faced with "when can I put a stick in that stream?"

Carrie said...

Love love love LOVE the poem. I'm stealing it, by the way.

I have one last pee stick in my house and I swear I hear it taunting me from the bathroom.

Stupid TWW.

Heather said...

That was too funny. Hoping for you!