Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Give it to Me One More Time.....

Well, 8 days until we go for our IVF medication class. Big Important Clinic (BIC for short) has almost of our stuff-bloodwork, saline sonohystogram results (okey-dokey-was kinda cool and weird at the same time to see Dr. Petite injecting saline into my ute and not feeling anything), Sean's bloodwork is in, his spankfest is scheduled for next Thursday morning (so we don't have to travel there twice), and we're getting one of our forms (proof of partership/marriage-required) notarized tonight. The only glich is that I got a letter from our cool IVF coordinator that told me the lab "forgot" to test for my CBC, so I have to go back and get more blood drawn-ick. But, it's not a major problem, so no big deal.....

I've been thinking a lot about this upcoming cycle, and contemplating whether or not it will be my last. I'm not sure I want to give up at this time, but I'm also not sure if I can keep doing this. Given our past track record, I don't want to let that old bitch Hope in just yet-I don't want to even entertain that this could actually work for us. In some ways, it's so disheartening-trying to stay positive, trying everything (crackpot or not) under the sun to make the prime environment for success, and then ending up with nothing but heavy bleeding. But, if the medical professionals didn't think that this could work, they wouldn't give me Hope, right?

At least, that's what I'd like to think.

So, I'm trying to get through the next week or so until our class. It's not like I don't have enough to keep me busy-I have two concerts next week to prepare for-but this damn infertility is breathing down my neck, and I'm starting to get antsy. It's like my psyche knows that my self-imposed exile is almost over, and I'm back in the saddle again.

By the way, 32 more days until school ends, and I can't wait-the kids are driving me absolutely batty. I can't wait until the summer vacation.

Hopefully this will be a very nice summer vacation indeed, if you get my drift.

5 comments:

Shelli said...

one step at a time, dear, sweet, S.

hugs and love to you,
S

(and boo-boo-baby-bite-face)

Manuela said...

Ditto... baby steps.

ilyse said...

S- How exciting that you are getting everything on your checklist checked off at the Big Important Clinic. I really hope this works for you and that you have a great summer vacay!

cat said...

I hope it's the best damn summer holiday you have ever had and then some!

Hope your concerts go fabulously.

Betty said...

I get your drift dear, lets hope the summer holiday is a great one. Sounds like Hope might be squeezing her way through the door! She sneaks up on me all the time!