Rolling the Dice with the Pipsqueak.........Again

I haven't posted in awhile. I haven't even posted on other blogs lately, so I apologize up front to everyone. I tried to post, I really did. I even have some started and saved as drafts. But, I didn't feel that I had much to say. I'm not pregnant, I'm without faith, life sucks, job is starting to feel stagnant, Sean and I are bickering back and forth for the past two weeks about the stupidest things. I mean, those kind of posts gets old, if you get my drift. I feel dissatisfied with everything. I know that it's because the one thing I want the most is missing from my life. Perhaps I'm having "infertility treatment withdrawal symptoms".

Heh.

We had our follow-up with Dr. Pipsqueak today. I took a sick day, and Sean took a half-day at work so he could go to the appointment. She told us that she had no real reason why the FET didn't work out-the 7-cell embryo looked "good" and even the 5-cell was promising. She even said that if it had worked none of the RE's would've been surprised to see twins. My lining and progesterone were great throughout the cycle. She felt that it was simply a case of "rolling the dice" to get the right cycle for a pregnancy. She said that she still "strongly believes" that I will get pregnant and have a baby, but it's only a matter of when and what cycle. She was really great though-she's got this knack for being clinical, yet sympathetic and personal. And, she loved my new sweater I wore for the occasion. Clinical, sympathetic, personal, and appreciates fashion-can't get better than that, right?

Here's the deal-she feels that we should try a natural cycle for the next FET. Now that my ovaries aren't being messed about with drugs (which was the reason for the synthetic FET-it was too soon after the IVF cycle and she felt that my ovaries were still swollen) and my cycles are pretty much back to normal, there's no reason not to try. She feels that perhaps not being hopped up on meds might be a benefit to the cycle (the only time I was pregnant was on a natural transfer cycle). And, since lovely AF will be here within the next week or so, I'll be able to do a transfer (barring any delays) at the end of October, right in time for the lab to reopen.

So, once Leak Week starts, I have to call the office and let them know. Then, beginning on CD 10, I'm in for bloodwork, which will be more often since they have to watch my LH surge (oooh.....yay! Can't wait to look like an addict again). I'll only have to wait for a date with the Lurve Wand twice though, since they're not counting follicles (they'll only use it to confirm ovulation) so at least that will make my life a little easier. Then I'll take the Medrol and Doryx for four days, have the transfer, then take oral progesterone. No PIO-there IS a God!

That's the deal, at least for now. We left there renewed, perhaps not spiritual in the religious sense, but renewed in the sense that someone (present company excluded) has faith that this will work for us. Perhaps, after all, this will work for us.

Hmmm........perhaps God is trying to tell me something?