Friday, October 06, 2006

Rolling the Dice with the Pipsqueak.........Again

I haven't posted in awhile. I haven't even posted on other blogs lately, so I apologize up front to everyone. I tried to post, I really did. I even have some started and saved as drafts. But, I didn't feel that I had much to say. I'm not pregnant, I'm without faith, life sucks, job is starting to feel stagnant, Sean and I are bickering back and forth for the past two weeks about the stupidest things. I mean, those kind of posts gets old, if you get my drift. I feel dissatisfied with everything. I know that it's because the one thing I want the most is missing from my life. Perhaps I'm having "infertility treatment withdrawal symptoms".


We had our follow-up with Dr. Pipsqueak today. I took a sick day, and Sean took a half-day at work so he could go to the appointment. She told us that she had no real reason why the FET didn't work out-the 7-cell embryo looked "good" and even the 5-cell was promising. She even said that if it had worked none of the RE's would've been surprised to see twins. My lining and progesterone were great throughout the cycle. She felt that it was simply a case of "rolling the dice" to get the right cycle for a pregnancy. She said that she still "strongly believes" that I will get pregnant and have a baby, but it's only a matter of when and what cycle. She was really great though-she's got this knack for being clinical, yet sympathetic and personal. And, she loved my new sweater I wore for the occasion. Clinical, sympathetic, personal, and appreciates fashion-can't get better than that, right?

Here's the deal-she feels that we should try a natural cycle for the next FET. Now that my ovaries aren't being messed about with drugs (which was the reason for the synthetic FET-it was too soon after the IVF cycle and she felt that my ovaries were still swollen) and my cycles are pretty much back to normal, there's no reason not to try. She feels that perhaps not being hopped up on meds might be a benefit to the cycle (the only time I was pregnant was on a natural transfer cycle). And, since lovely AF will be here within the next week or so, I'll be able to do a transfer (barring any delays) at the end of October, right in time for the lab to reopen.

So, once Leak Week starts, I have to call the office and let them know. Then, beginning on CD 10, I'm in for bloodwork, which will be more often since they have to watch my LH surge (oooh.....yay! Can't wait to look like an addict again). I'll only have to wait for a date with the Lurve Wand twice though, since they're not counting follicles (they'll only use it to confirm ovulation) so at least that will make my life a little easier. Then I'll take the Medrol and Doryx for four days, have the transfer, then take oral progesterone. No PIO-there IS a God!

That's the deal, at least for now. We left there renewed, perhaps not spiritual in the religious sense, but renewed in the sense that someone (present company excluded) has faith that this will work for us. Perhaps, after all, this will work for us.

Hmmm........perhaps God is trying to tell me something?


Watson said...


I'm so glad you posted, I've been checking back every couple of days to see what's up with you.

And, I'm glad things seem a little more hopeful.

Sometimes that's enough, just a teensy little bit of hope to help us take the next step, right?

Take care!

The Town Criers said...

I don't know--I think my RE's cheerleading made all the difference in the world. At least I knew for certain that he was doing everything possible to get me knocked up. And I think unmedicated cycles are an interesting trend--they certainly make a lot of sense.

Nickie said...

sorry you've been feeling so down, I understand having only depressing things to post about. I'm glad you're back though.

A natural FET sounds almost like a vacation after all you've been thru. I hope it's just what the RE ordered.

Lut C. said...

Dissatisfied and disagreeable, that would be me too.

Shelli said...

thinkiung of you and sending big love.

how is the show going?

Anonymous said...

I often ask if god is trying to tell me something, does he have a divine plan for us? Could go with that and stay hopeful, I suppose.

It's rare that a Dr would tell you she's hopeful for you, so that's something to hang onto for the time being...

Hope you feel better soon, have you tried a hobby of some sort, when your not busy working obviously? It helps to keep the mind busy with some hobby or other, just a suggestion?

And fighting with the other half is sooo normal, if upsetting. I'm sure we all do it when were stressed and anxious, I know I do :)

Thinking of you, take care...


cat said...

We are holding onto lots of hope for you guys! *hugs*

KIMMER said...

I'm so glad you have a plan set in motion, so understand your feeling also.
Here's to the FET working and it's nice to see you blogging again, I've missed you!

Thalia said...

I'm sorry you're in such a grey place right now, although heaven knows I empathise. Thank goodness for alternative treatments, and the right kind of doctor.

Anonymous said...

Hoping that everything is going well and that this will be it for you. (((hugs)))

Ilyse :)

shazz said...

Sending hugs!! Also letting you know I have moved Blogs for a while until blogger get it right!