Friday, May 25, 2007

Leak Week

Cycle day 1 is here again,
The uterine highway is clear again,
So come sing along, we'll try again,
Cycle Day 1 is here again!

So, in honor of that annual tradition here in the Tri-State area called Fleet Week (where hundreds of hottie sailors roam the streets of NYC looking for a good time), I had my own dishonorable discharge, but from the Uterine Navy.

Yes folks, we've got bleeding! It started this morning, after the usual spotting/killer "progesterone is falling" headache last night. Oddly though, there isn't a lot of cramping or bloating, but that's a good thing.

How do I feel about this? I mean, since we actually made a go of having "baby making sex" this month? Surprisingly, I'm not really upset that my period is here. Really. Now, pick yourselves up off of the floor and check your panties for skids, because I'm not kidding. SERIOUSLY.

I really didn't expect it to work this month-not because I'm being all Miss Negativity and Doom and Gloom (which I'm good at, I know). But, I usually have ovulation pain, and I had it on my left side this month (the blocked side), and, since there's only a slight chance (around 5%) that an egg will migrate and be swept up into a good tube, I kinda had a feeling that the odds wouldn't be in my favor this month. So, we'll give it the good 'ol college try again this cycle, with the added bonus of using that handy-dandy digital fertility monitor that I have (once I can dig it out of wherever the hell it's cowering in fear)-I've forgotten how much I hate OPK's and the "is-it-or-is-it-not-a-surge" game. C'mon, you KNOW what I'm talking about-that little ritual where you hold the OPK up to the light source of your choice, squint at the stick and use quantum physics to determine whether or not the line is AS DARK OR DARKER than the control line. You end up looking like one of those Central Park painters who hold out their paintbrushes to "find the right angle" in their subject. You get the mental image, right?

I'm not devastated that it didn't work this month. I was contemplating doing another cycle this month (the last day to start stims at my clinic before they close is June 11th) and bypassing this TTC shit, but something is telling me to hold off one more month, to wait until they reopen in July. And, I'm okay with that-I need more time to relax, maybe lose a few more pounds, center myself a bit more, enjoy part of the summer IVF-free. And, I have to listen to that little voice more than I do, because it's most often right (which was another thing that the Tarot reader told me). I'm still feeling the good Va-jay-jay juju and all that. I just need to enjoy the good mojo feeling a little more, so I can figure out how to channel that into an IVF cycle. If it gets to another cycle, I mean.

And so, here I am-sitting on my parent's couch at the Jersey Shore watching bad daytime TV, with the dog sleeping next to me and waiting for my mother to come home from work to do a little retail therapy. Since we only used two of the allotted five snow days built into our schedule this year, our district gave us a little Memorial Day Break, with today and Tuesday off. So, I decided to drive down here after work on Thursday and go home tomorrow night, in time for church on Sunday. Then Monday at G&A's, and Tuesday to hang out at home. Then, we're in the home stretch with 17 days left of school (actually, only 10 full days of school and 7 half day sessions), and I'm officially on break, with my (hopefully not-so) fat ass in a bathing suit on the beach with a trashy novel.

Oh, yeah, and sex. LOTS of sex. Because life is for living, right?


Bloggeroo said...

Good luck with this latest round of IVF.

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

Sorry this cycle didn't work out. It still sucks even if you expected it. Enjoy your extra day off.

OHN said...

I had to pop off a comment to you just to tell you how much I enjoy your blog. I mean, yeah, it sucks about all the crap trying to get pregnant (been there!) but your wit at writing about it, never ceases to bring a smile to my face (thought I am sure you will still make me smile when writing about all the details of your (hopefully)upcoming glorious pregnancy. Just had to de-lurk to say hi.

cat said...

SEX!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO Freaking Whooooo!

May it be goooood and then some dahlin'

CAM said... 1. Time to start the roller coaster! I am also a teacher - do you have to come to school late during your cycle because of bloodwork etc? I used to just get coverages for my early classes...but my school now has a new rule as to how many you can get covered (a rule that was put in place - thanks to me)!! So great when the ivf is in the summer! :)

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

Sorry that this cycle did not bring happy results. But your attitude is inspiring!

And I HATE - absolutely HATE - the OPKs. Your description fit EXACTLY what I have been struggling with over the past 11 days.

Jen said...

You are hilarious! I just found your blog and am enjoying reading it and all your tales of Tarot and HSG.

Shelli said...

sex baby - get it OOOOON! ;)

Nearlydawn said...

Yah, I'm not in to OPK's, we do not get along. Just when I'm sure I've surged the darned things start lying and changing the game. It sucks to be OPK challenged.

Jessica said...

Sorry for the new cycle... however Have fun with all that sex!!!!

marlo said...

Great Blog. There are so few people talking openly about infertility.

Anyone in New York over July 4th should check out this documentary opening at the Film Forum. It chronicles the filmmaker's own struggle to get pregnant, explicitly inviting the viewer along for her first IVF cycle. It's good to know that there are other people going through this.