R.I.P.

NEW JERSEY (Hoo-ha ters) -- Investigators are no longer looking into the sudden disappearance of Mr. Big Cyst Buzzkill, of NJ, who literally vanished last evening during a routine pelvic ultrasound. Mr. Buzzkill was last seen by dildocam in the vicinity of a left ovary on or about February 2, 2005. During yesterday evening's screening, it became apparent that he was most definitely missing, presumed dead. "Well, I kept looking and looking around and all I saw was a small, collapsed outer necrotic shell, but no fluid or debris, which I thought was odd, since I saw the earlier films", said the ultrasound technician assigned to the case, who wished to remain anonymous, "I kept searching with both the dildocam and the abdominal transducer, but I saw nothing. I finally had to stop because I thought that the patient's bladder was about to explode".

It has been confirmed that Mr. Buzzkill had been illegally squatting for the past nine months in the reproductive system of one S, age 32. "He really wasn't too much of a pain, if you know what I mean," she told reporters in a news conference held earlier today, "he was actually pretty quiet, but the ovaries, Fallopian tubes and uterus were starting to complain about some of his more 'questionable' habits, so it's best that he moved on." S stated that she plans to rent out the space to two embryos within the next six weeks. It will, hopefully, be a 40 week lease.