When am I ever in the "right" mental state? Yeah, you get the point.
Here are the three reasons I'm not getting a good feeling about the outcome of this FET (although, if I'm wrong I'll gladly eat my words, with a side of sarcasm):
When I got in this morning there was a minor calamity going on. Apparently, the computer system in the department went down, so everything had to be done longhand, which took forever. When the
from my arm, she had to move the needle because the flow of blood stopped. Uh....can you say holymotherfuckingshitfuckingwhorethatHURTS! Yeah, I knew ya could....
Then, during my date with the Uterine Lurve Wand, the RE (not Dr. Pipsqueak this time, it's Dr. Cheery) finds a big cyst on the left side of my ovary-a large dark mass. She doesn't seem concerned though, as she feels it's a leftover corpeus luteum cyst from last cycle (she said that the telltale sign is the ragged edges of the cyst). Although why she didn't see that before today is unnerving and freaking me out, but okay, I'll go with it...
So, off I go to work (it's my weekend to sing). Whilst I'm at work, nice nursey (not Blondie) calls, and
Sean takes the message as to what I need to do. Here it is:
*This week, stay on the same dosages (.05 IU Lupron, 2 tabs Estrace 3x daily)
*8/27-Stop Lupron, start PIO injections, Doryx and Medrol (I'm assuming that they'll start thawing too)
*8/28-Wait for phonecall from office as to time of transfer
*8/29-Go in for morning monitoring
*8/30-Transfer day, time TBD
Now, there's nothing said here as to whether or not I need to come in this week for monitoring, which baffles me, so I have to call Nurse Blondie in the morning to see what the deal is.
So, the transfer date is the 30th-I go back to school on September 1st-Yah, let's have the 2ww during the first two weeks of school.......sweet........
The whole point of doing a FET in the summer was so that I could be stress free! What is taking so fucking long? I feel like I've been on the drugs for months now-I've been on the Lupron since August 1st, and the Estrace since the 7th (13 days now)-shouldn't that have been enough?? ARRGH!
I guess that technically I'm on day 13 of this cycle, since I had a "period" (it's really withdrawal bleeding, but hey, let's not get hung up on semantics), so I can't complain that much, but it feels like fucking forever (I started the BCP's back on July 23rd). I'm starting to experience more of the side effects now-I feel more agitated, and less likely to have patience. That should be fun during the first two weeks of school, right? Especially when I teach my 6 kindergarten classes, when they're all freaking out and crying.........yeah, that should be real fun. Can't wait.
With the way I'm feeling right now, I'd rather stick a sharpened #2 pencil in my eye. Or, someone else's. I'm not going to discriminate.
Well, I've got a tentative transfer date-I should be happy, right? Then why do I think I am seriously screwed? I can feel it, creeping up on me, like a fungus. I'm trying to be positive, but it's getting really difficult.