Yeah, yeah......still BFN......can't help myself. I've started cramping this afternoon, however, so who the hell knows what is going on.
However, we've been given some sad news last night. My 96 year old grandfather died last evening, in my grandmother's arms. He's been ill for a long time (a series of strokes, surviving stomach/esophagus cancer), but it was still a shock to get the call last night.
We've been frantically trying to figure out how the hell we're getting to Boston (and where we're staying) for the wake/funeral. Flights are fricking expensive as hell, and of course hotels aren't much better there (staying with relatives isn't an option, as they live in the North End). The services are set for Thursday and Friday. Thursday also happens to be beta day. I'm thinking of calling the RE's office to see if I can come in tomorrow for my beta instead-I'm not sure if one day or not will make a difference. We're probably not flying out until later Thursday morning, so I could feasibly still go to the RE's office. But, if it's a BFN, and I don't know about it, then I still have to travel with injection supplies on the plane, which would blow big time. Not to mention having to spill the beans to my parents, who didn't know we even did a cycle. Not really a good time to explain it all, is it?
So, as I mentioned, there's lots of things to arrange. It's keeping my mind off of whether or not any embryos are alive in there.
My grandfather isn't even my biological grandfather-my grandmother married him four or five years after her first husband (my dad's father) died. They were introduced by his sister, who was a friend of my grandmothers and lived in the same development in Florida. He married for the first time in his late 60's, and it was to my grandmother. He had no children. So, he got a ready-made family with us. And he always treated us as if we were his own. He bought me my first car, he made it possible for both my brother and I to go to whatever college we wanted to, debt-free. If we had wanted to go to law or medical school, he would have made it happen financially as well. Yes, he was extremely well-off, but he was the type of person who was generous and did it of his own free will, and with a glad heart. If it weren't for him, I probably wouldn't be where I am today. It's because of him that I went to Seton Hall, where I met Sean, where I got my degree and eventually went into education. So, you see, I owe him a lot. He was a wonderful man-he had a great sense of humor, with a thick "Nahth End" accent, intelligent as hell and loved having a good time.
I'll miss you, grandpa. Thank you for being who you were. You will be missed dearly.