Friday, October 02, 2009

8dp5dt-The Night Before The Morning Of

Thanks for your support guys. It's sort of blown over, I think. I still haven't talked to my brother, and I won't until we know about the results of tomorrow's beta (then, depending on the results....well, we'll see). I did talk to my dad for his birthday the other day, and it wasn't mentioned by either of us, and I haven't talked to my mother yet, although her treatment is next week. *Sigh*. Hopefully they'll have learned their lesson about thinking before speaking, but I doubt it. It's just best to distance myself for now.

As for the 2ww front: well, nothing yet. I've been having cramps in varying degress all week long, and the girls have been killing me. I mean killing me and then once I'm dead KILLING ME AGAIN. Oddly enough, they hurt more at night than in the morning. The other night they were literally throbbing from the outside and in towards my center. Ugh. It's like taking off my bra and feeling like a bag of rocks dropped out. I'm tired, hungry, constantly peeing, sore and starting to get lumpy from the PIO. What else is new, right? That's why PIO sucks-it gives you the pregnancy mind fuck.

As for testing...........sorry Heather, but I did cave. I can't help it-I'm of the mindset that I need to be prepared, so that if it's negative it's not a total kick in the ass. I started on 6dp5dt, which was BFN. Then again the next day, which was "sort-of" negative (kinda ambiguous, so I'm going to say BFN). Today, I did three more, one in the morning (the CBE +/- kind), and two this afternoon when I got home (a FRER and a CVS brand, which is supposed to be like a FRER). The CBE had a really really faint "+" line (like you had to really look at it), but the FRER had a more defined line (but still very faint, though). The CVS one also had a really faint line, but not as strong as the FRER. The upshot of all this? I'm not sure. It's definitely not an evap line, because the faint 2nd line came up within the 5 minute window. If it IS positive then the beta could come up as really low, which isn't a good sign (and I've been there before). If it's negative, then it's just a fucking bad karmic joke. However, three different test coming up as (sort of) false positive? I'm not sure that could be happening-it's too weird. Either way, there are two tests left (a FRER and a CVS) so I'll test tomorrow before I leave for the beta and let Sean look at it (he doesn't know-I'm a closet POAS'er!! HELP!) to get a second opinion.

So friends, hold your applause, because we're at that "maybe.......not sure" stage of the 2ww. We'll all know tomorrow, one way or the other. I know which way I want it to go, though.

7 comments:

dawn said...

Thoughts and prayers being sent your way for tomorrow am.

Erin said...

OMG!!! This could finally be it for you. Everything is crossed and prayers are coming. I can't wait for your post tomorrow.

Shelli said...

post a fucking picture of a test, and let US decide if you are pregers or not. DUH.

Dude. PLEASE TEXT ME THE SECOND YOU GET THE CALL. If it's positive, I want to scream with you, if it's negative, I want to tell you I love you.

Michelle said...

You don't know my, but I've lurked forever. I'll be praying for you.

Thalia said...

well a line is a line. I do hope the beta is a great number. Hang in there.

Jodi said...

Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you ~ lots of positive thoughts!

Jessica said...

Thinking of you this morning. My prayers are always with you.
I'm glad the thing with your brother blew over, my heart ached for you - sometimes the people you love most say and do the most hurtful things.