Tuesday, August 21, 2012

6dp4dt-Haven't I Seen This Movie Before?

Thanks everyone for the good ju-ju!  And, I do apologize for not posting my usual post-transfer countdown, but, well.....there's not a whole lot to report, really.  Here's the short-form version:

1dp (Thurs)-was a lazy ass all day on the couch.  A little brown spotting, no cramps.
2dp (Fri)-continued the lazy-ass theme.  I did go out and went to the mall and bought the CUTEST dress.  Sean had a haircut after work and we went out for dinner.  Still a little brown spotting, but nothing major, just on the TP.
3dp (Sat)-went for a bloodletting, then breakfast, then Costco.  Made brownies.  Went to a BBQ at the MIL's and ate WAAAAY too much food.  Slept in the chair due to food coma.  A little "full-feeling" and bloated, but nothing major in the way of side effects.  Nurse called and bloodwork looks great-progesterone is over 40.
4dp (Sun)-Church, where our friend Priesty Boy is posted.  He gave us the surreptitious sign of the cross "down low" as he put it, for the good ju-ju.  Went to a farmer's market afterwards, came home and took a power nap, had dinner.  Very tired-couldn't make it to 10 for my RHONJ addiction (I KNOW....don't judge me!).  Still spotting, nothing major, still brown and only on the TP.  A couple of ovary twinges, but that could be because they're settling down after retrieval. 
5dp (Mon)-Tired, bloated belly, occasional twinges, and sore, heavy feeling boobs-thanks, progesterone!  A little grumpy
6dp (Tues-today)-same symptoms, still brown spotting at times, blah blah blah.

As you can see, nothing to write home about. 

Now, it's coming up to that time when we of the infertile world like to call "Pee Test Mania", which is an compulsion anyone who's been TTC for a good amount of time.  We all rush out to our nearest pharmacy and pretty much buy out the Evil Pee Stick stock of whatever brand you like the best (or, you can be eclectic and buy a few of each) and then basically urinate on anything that has a litmus strip attached to it-there is a minority out there who do the pee-in-a-cup and dip routine-and then have a panic attack waiting to see if (1) the HCG trigger is tested out of your system or (2) the HPT is testing the "real" HCG your embryo is (hopefully) producing.  If it's negative you either freak out/make bargains with God/dance naked at midnight holding a lighted candle, or it's positive and you freak thinking that the line isn't dark enough and you're going to end up with a chemical.

So, where am I in the process?  Well, I DID buy the tests (2 boxes-one for each day, starting today) but I have yet to break them out.  I know that this is going to sound out of character, and no pun intended, but I kinda don't have the urge yet.  I'm not sure that it's because I'm a chickenshit, or that maybe it's because I don't want to start the roller coaster of emotions that I know will begin once I pee on that first stick, but I'm kind of "eh" about it right now.  I've found that I'm not as overly anxious about this 2WW as I usually would be-it's not that I don't care about the outcome, but my attitude is so mellow right now that it's sort of creepy for me.  I'm feeling like whatever is going to happen will, and no amount of urinating on plastic contraptions is going to change it, or make the results happen any sooner.  I'm not sure if it's me separating myself from it so as to not get super-emotional about it, or if that's my true attitude on it all, but there it is.  I'm sure I'll test eventually but I'm really not feeling the need to do it.  Realistically, with one embryo at 10dpo the odds of anything being picked up isn't great, even with the sensitivity of the tests, so why unnecessarily stress myself out? 

Now, the real question is....do I think that it worked?  Who knows-progesterone is such a bitch in that it mimics all those pregnancy "symptoms" that would theoretically happen if you weren't on the meds.  I really have no clue-there's no one thing that I can say I'm feeling that would point me in either direction.  No weird dreams, no "signs" that I can see.  I'm remaining hopeful, which is good, but I'm not really going to make myself crazy right now obsessing about it.

Perhaps that, in itself, is a "good sign".  I'll update you on the HPT start date...oh, who am I kidding, it'll probably be tomorrow, but we'll see.


Anonymous said...

Oh I totally know how those "symptoms" can play with your head!!! It sucks!!!!!!!!

Mia said...

I am so anxious to read about your positive hpt!! thanks for sharing :)

Anonymous said...

sounds like you are in a good frame of mind, all things crossed!

Anonymous said...

Really hoping no news is good news! *fingers & toes crossed*

MrsSpock said...

Hoping so much for you!

Shelli said...

Just pee for me, ok?

Anonymous said...

This 2ww is killing us!!
But, really I'm praying for all the best and strength :)