Friday Night Rantings

Well, the party went off without a hitch.......if you don't count my mother-in-law acting like a menopausal mess about her "baby" turning 30---give me a fucking break. She made him a photo collage for his birthday, and there's only one picture of me in it-and it happens to be the group shot of one of my wedding pictures. She just sucks. I think I'm gonna get her some Premarin for her birthday next week. Just to show her how much I care.

Oh, yeah, and the Dementor made "favors" for it too-little candies and such in one of those cloth bags. Nice, huh? Too bad she didn't offer to fork over any $$ for the party......urgh. Yes, I'm still bitter about her damn laptop. Hopefully I'll get mine soon and I'll be over it already....

But, 'Lil Man was surprised and happy, which was the point. He even came up to me later and thanked me for all the work that I did-his mother actually told him that I did it-wasn't that nice of her? I met my father-in-law's new girlfriend, who is really cool. And, nobody brought up my failed IVF cycle, which was a relief. Of course, I made sure that I had knocked back a few drinks early on, so that I could be aptly prepared for the airing of my period undies, which didn't happen. So, everyone was happy.

Oh, wow-- I'm in a really bitchy and cynical mood tonight. I think that that old crusty whore AF is finally on its way(no Cat, that bitch didn't listen to you, so I'll have to kick some ass when she shows up)-I'm getting weird twinges and mood swings the past few days, plus a zit or two. So, I'm sorry to all of you that read this- I haven't been too bloggy lately, and when I do come back I'm a raving lunatic. Not good.

Anywho, what else is going on? We're going to a wedding tomorrow-actually, we're singing the wedding Mass, then going to the reception, which is out by my parent's house (a 45 min drive from the church), so Sean and I are taking G&A out to the 'rents to hang for awhile, then we'll mosey on to the place. I got a faboo dress that I'll wear for the cruise too-it's a pale green, silk and strapless, and really vintage looking. And, the best thing was that it was like 40% off. Of course, I had to get a new hooter-holder (aka the Victoria Secret bustier) because the one I have is black, and you'd see right through the dress-not very classy. I got a nice flesh-colored one that is the perfect balance of "suck it all in" without sucking all the breath out of my lungs. It should, for $80, right?

I had my last concert on Wednesday, which was a HUGE success-the kids were incredible. My supervisor told me that he was really impressed with their sound and the blend. It's too bad that they didn't record it. Actually, on second thought, I fucked up a lot of the piano playing, so maybe it's best that nobody saved it for posterity....but, there's only 13 more days of school left-WOOT!! Then we leave for our Bermuda cruise on the 26th with G&A-holy shit I cannot WAIT........I plan on not being sober very often on that trip.

I need to go shopping for some duds for the cruise-a new bathing suit being one of them. I hate shopping for those-it makes me feel like I'm this huge blob of quivering flesh. I certainly can't wear the cute bikinis anymore, not with my belly, thighs and ass. So, I've graduated to the "tankini", which I call the "thirtysomething bikini". Perhaps it's just my skewed perception of my own body, but my thighs look horrific. Of course, those fucking mirrors in the dressing rooms don't help-I'm convinced that they're like those fun-house mirrors that make everyone look like an oompah-loompah, regardless of their height and size. Plus, I have to get D-cup bathing suits and they have to have underwire, or else you can't tell where my tits end and my waist begins. I've always had big boobs-even when I was a size 2 I had D-cups, which makes it really hard to buy clothing-everything has to be a size bigger because of my tits. And that means the specialty shops, because stores like Target don't sell those kinds of suits. Urgh. So, yes, bathing suit shopping ranks on that list of "things I'd rather not have to do", somewhere in between "gyno/RE appointments", "colonic cleansing" "holidays with my in-laws" and "eating feces". You get the point.

Speaking of my reproductive organs, not much going on there. Just waiting for that old bitch to rear her head, but I really think it will be soon-within the next week or so. Then it's time to do my mock cycle, which hopefully will be okay, then time to thaw out two of those totsicles and do the frozen transfer in July. The only snag is that my district has decided to change insurance plans, effective July 1st. It's a better plan (BC/BS), which is good (in fact, the original RE that my gyno recommended takes it, as well as my current RE), but I need to find out if they consider infertility a "pre-existing condition"-if they do, then they can exclude coverage for IF for up to six months. It figures, doesn't it? I sometimes wonder if God isn't trying to tell me that I'm not meant to do this. Maybe I should be content with what I have right now.

Just a thought....