Monday, April 04, 2005

On the Tenth Day of Stims, My RE Gave to Me....

No embryo retrieval for me.

Here's what I know, so far-

On Friday afternoon, after my morning monitoring, Nursey P called me and told me that my estradiol levels on day #7 of stims are at 3749, "a little high", according to her. So, the RE wanted my doses of medication cut down-my Follistim went from 225 iu twice a day to 150 iu once a day, and my Lupron went from 10 units to 5 units for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and Monday (today) I needed to come in for monitoring and to see the RE. She told me that my expected embryo retrieval date would be Wednesday April 6th, and the embryo transfer date would be Saturday April 9th. She advised me, because of monitoring and having to see the RE almost every day, to stay out of work this week (I'm supposed to be back from Spring Recess) and faxed me a doctor's note.

So, I take my meds on Friday night, Saturday and Sunday, as instructed. I started noticing on Saturday that I'm starting to feel a bit bloated-nothing major, but it's getting noticeable. I'm also started to get more twinges and feelings of heaviness in my abdomen, probably from all those lovely follicles growing on my ovaries.

I go in this morning to the lab for bloodwork, and yay! I don't get the phlebotomist that mangles my arm (I've dubbed her "The Punisher" or "The Bruiser"-she's really a very nice person, but nice doesn't help when my arm looks like I've been shooting heroin) every time I go in, so I' m thinking that it's gonna be a "good news" type of day. I get to the RE's office for the dildocam, and, lo and behold, there are nice follies on the monitor! But, Mr. Techie measures them and tells me that they're only 13-14 mm big, and they need to be at least 16 mm to be able to be harvested...uh oh......

So, I stay to see the RE (it's like 8:30 ish by now; the RE should be in by 9), and of course, he doesn't come in until 9:20 or so, and there's about 5 women ahead of me, so I didn't see him until almost 9:45am (thank God I was off today). He tells me that, because of Friday's high numbers, he had to cut my doses to avoid hyperstimulation of the ovaries (which cause Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome-OHSS-which is not fun to have, since you fill up with fluid due to all the shit that's in your system), and he thought that I'd still be progressing, but he was concerned to see that I wasn't. So, the upshot is, no retrieval on Wednesday-it now looks like "Friday, the latest" according to the RE. He told me, as soon as I got home this morning, to take 75 IU of the Follistim, and to wait for instructions from Nursey P this afternoon.....

I'm just so frustrated with my body right now-I feel as if it's betraying me. I know that the RE is doing all he can to make sure that I'll be okay, but I just want this to be over. I'm tired of trying to find a non-bruised part of my stomach that's not full of track marks to inject myself every night. I hate the fact that I took a whole week from work and now looks as if I won't be going back until next Tuesday, and that I've took so many sick days because of my fucking infertility issues. I feel like a bloated mess, I'm constantly exhausted and don't even have the energy to cook dinner, my clothes don't fit right now, I have constant twinges in my abdomen, my nipples are KILLING me (errgh), and I have a hard time sleeping because I'm uncomfortable. Oh, yeah, and, because I thought that the transfer date was April 9th, I turned down not only a church gig, but free tickets to see the Tallis Scholars at Riverside Church in NYC with our friends G&A, so I'm also a bit bitter and bitchy about that.

I hate to complain, really-we're so lucky that we're able to even do in-vitro, and to live in a state that mandates health insurance coverage for it. Many women pay for this out of their own pocket, and it adds up to the tens of thousands of dollars per cycle. I should be grateful, I know.

But, I just want the waiting game to be over, already.

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