Wednesday, February 07, 2007

God's Payback

I think that, perhaps, I've been given a sign that all is not lost. That maybe, just maybe God is smiling down on us and giving me hope.

It's karma in it's finest form.........or, at least it's God giving me a wink and saying "Hey, I got your back, babe".

Here then, is last night's conversation after Sean walked in the door:

Me: "Hey babe, how was your day?"

Him: "Not so, was I gassy today!"

Me (slightly nauseated and getting olfactory flashbacks): "Greeaaaaaaaaat"

Him: "Yeah, and then.........GUESS WHAT? Guess what happened next?"

Me: "Uh, did you set off the fire alarm?"

Him: "No......."

Me: "Did you asphyxiate someone and they needed to be sent to the emergency room?"

Him: "Nope, it's better than that......."

Me: "How can it get better than attempted murder?"

Him: "No, seriously............I farted and I slightly shit my pants!"

Me (gagging): "Whaa.........dude, how the fuck can you SLIGHTLY shit your pants??"

Him: " wasn't a log or was just a skid in my underpants......."

Me: .....................

Him: "Okay, you can stop laughing now. It's really not THAT funny."

Me: "Dude, it's God's payback for releasing the Kracken. I LOVE it!!"

Him: "Do you think it's good luck for us? Kind of like having a bird shit on you when you're walking or stepping in dog crap on the sidewalk or something?"

Me: "Well, if you think I'm rubbing your underpants on my head, you're insane"

Him: "It can't hurt, you know...."

Me: "You are SO doing the laundry this week....."

The moral of this story, kids? She who gets farted on gets the last laugh. And a free pass on doing the laundry for the rest of the week. WOOT!


Transfer is set for tomorrow-we have to be there at 12:30, and then the embryos will start the uterine party about an hour later. The final amount we transfer will depend on what they look like, and we won't know that until we get there. I'm still leaning towards two, but it's anyone's guess.

I'll be back to update tomorrow, once I'm home and burrowed safely on the couch.


Anonymous said...

Here's a new word for you -
"Shart" - when you try to fart and the shit comes out. Your husband sharted today :)

Good luck with the transfer tomorrow!

Carol said...

you really have to stop making me laugh out loud when I'm trying to work. (I guess I'm not really trying to work that hard, if I'm reading blogs) seriously. too. funny.

It's not too late for donor sperm you know..

Great luck tomorrow!!

Sassy McSasserson said...

That is hilarious. I'm glad to hear my hubby isn't the only one with these kind of problems!

Best of luck to you S. It is definitely you turn girl!

Nickie said...

oops, he did it again! Reminds me of that SNL commercial for a Depends type product called "Oops I shit my pants".

Men. 'nuf said.

good luck tomorrow!!!!!

Alice said...

I'm really disappointed that someone beat me to the shart reference. But, anyway, from the urban dictionary: shart: a small, unintended defecation that occurs when one relaxes the anal sphincter to fart (blend of "shit" and "fart")

I sharted at the party last night and went home pronto to change my clothes.

Good luck manana!!!

Anna said...

good luck! i'm crossing everything for tomorrow!

Sami said...

Good luck with the transfer and way to go about getting out of laundry - I hate laundry!

cat said...

Thinking about you hope you are burrowed on the couch and surrounded by pillows soon. *hugs*

May this be it chica.

Shelli said...

Carol - it's not Sean's sperm that's the problem.

It's just random chance.

S - crossing everything except my eyes. Because I need them to work...

love you,

Lut C. said...

Lol! I really hope this one is it. I can't wait to read your conversations about diapers. ;-)

The Town Criers said...

So gross :-)

Good luck with transfer tomorrow.

Jessica said...

I thought the label for this blog was appropriate (Just for shits and giggles). Let me tell ya, your husband more and more is reminding me of my own!