Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The "Club"

I had an unexpected visitor today (and no, it's not an eggie-GAHHAHAHA! Sorry, had to insert that-couldn't help it). A former colleague of mine, who was RIF'd last year (RIF stands for Reduction In Force, which pretty much mean laid off, or, in the gentile manner of the British, "made redundant"-God, I love that!) came to visit after school. She had a miscarriage last year, at the end of the school year at around 8 weeks. We kind of lost touch after that-I had heard that she was going back to school to become a Reading Specialist-but she's a great person. Really funny, a Harry Potter freak like me-just a cool person.

So, after I give her a big hug, she says to me "Now I know what you've gone through". She told me that, two weeks ago, she miscarried again. She went in for her second ultrasound and they couldn't find a heartbeat, and they scheduled a D&C. She was also referred to an RE to see what's going on. The funny thing was who she was referred to-Dr. VEST!! Yup. But, her husband's insurance isn't taken by the office, so she was looking around for someone else. We talked about different clinics and the "infertility sucks ass and it's shitty" conversation, and I gave her my cell and home phone numbers and told her to call me ANY time, and that I know how hard it is to talk about this with people who don't "get it". And, she said that she was glad that she saw me (and that she came to school that day specifically to see me) and that she felt a little better already.

It's so sad, really. You don't ever want to wish this on anyone. Especially when you've got personal experience with it. But, it helps that there's someone out there who, well, just KNOWS. I was lucky, when I began this journey, to have a wonderful group on women to share my fears and frustration with (and still know). I'm also lucky that I've found blogging my experiences helpful-it's led me to meeting some amazing women. But, I also realized today that not everyone is as lucky as I am. And, it felt good to be on the other side of that, to help someone else out.

So, Carrie, welcome to the "club". Although it is nice to see you, please take no offense at the next statement- I hope your stay here is short.


Shelli said...

May you ALL have non-renewable membership cards...

cat said...

Here here! to Shelli's comment. It is good that you were there for her to know she is not alone. It's so important to keeping remotely sane in all this shitshow.