Monday, March 14, 2005

To "Anonymous", whoever you are

I just read a few of the comments on some of my recent blog entries, most from my FF buddies (smooches to you, Shelli and Cat-I *heart* you both and hope we can get together soon!), and one in particular from "anonymous", which was very disturbing, and will be the one that I'm addressing.

Let me first insert its (I'm not sure if you are a he or she, so forgive me) comment, found on my entry about the Great Walgreen's Pharmacy debacle, that particularly pissed me off:

At 4:40 PM, Anonymous said...
Your post shows that you may be too immature to be a good parent. You might want to try some counseling before you give birth. Honest.

Now, if you've attempted to read past entries to this blog, you would know that I have been through a lot of crap in my almost three year quest in having a child. If I were that "immature", as you're assuming, do you think that I'd have been able to go through what I've gone through?? Have you ever experienced the heartbreak of your period coming every month, despite perfect charts, OPK's, and such? Have you gone through numerous invasive and painful tests and treatments to find out what is wrong with you, or if anything is wrong with you? Have you gone through IVF treatment and had to pump drugs that could cause cancer into your system nightly, not feel well, and pray to God every night to for this to work and to make you the mother of a biological child? Are you now or ever were an infertility patient? A lot of us in IF land have gone through hell and back, and I think that, considering all I've been through with my reproductive system (some of which I have yet to post on this blog) I have every right to bitch. It's my blog. You try to deal with doctors, nurses, lab tech, ultrasound techs, pharmacies on a regular, sometimes daily, basis since June of 2004, deal with incompetence and apathy, and then tell me that you wouldn't get frustrated and get upset.

Getting pissed off and telling a pharmacist off for being unprofessional is, IMHO, my business and, as a consumer, my right. As a former employee in the health insurance field with numerous personal experiences in that field, I know that, like any field, there is incompetence. As such, I expect a certain level of customer service, pursuant to the Patient's Bill Rights (aka HIPAA). If someone was condescending and rude to you, would you let that roll off your back? Probably not. So, don't assume that I'm immature because I let someone know that they weren't dealing with a patient who is ignorant about her medical condition, which is probably what they're used to. Standing up for myself has no relevence whatsoever in whether or not I'd be a "good" parent. So, not being treated like shit and not letting people walk all over me is being a "bad" parent? If that's true, then my mom must be really immature, at the age of 53, because she doesn't take shit from anyone, and that's where I learned it -she raised a strong daughter, as I plan to someday.

As for your opinion on needing counseling, thank you for your concern, however, I don't feel, at this point in time, I need it. Of course, going through my first IVF cycle, it is always a possibility, since it's very stressful, but posting comments such as yours just causes unnecessary stress, which is something that I don't need at this time.

Now, that being said, here's my question for you....why bother posting at all, if you can't write something nice and/or supportive? Although, I'm sure, from your end, you thought you were being kind. However, I do have a lot of support, from my husband, family, friends, and especially my FF buddies, who all are or have gone through infertility or loss. Suffice it to say that, unless you've gone through what I am now, you have no right to judge me as a competent or incompetent person, or predict my future success in parenting. I take offense to that.

Like I said earlier, and in my profile, this blog is my stress relief, a place to be able to "talk" about my frustrations, joys and sorrows throughout this difficult period in my life. And, I feel, through your post, like I am not allowed to do that, and that, quite frankly, sucks. Whether I pay someone $100 an hour to listen to me or post on a blog, where people may or may not see it (because, honestly, this blog is for me, not for others-it just happens to be something public to read), is up to me, as long as I feel the results (me feeling better) are comparable.

And, if you just happen to be one of those lucky people on this earth that can easily get pregnant and carry their child to term, hats off to you-I just hope, for your sake, that you never, ever, have to go through what I am right now. Because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.


vixanne wigg said...

Oh my. What is up with the nasty comments????? If I don't like what somebody is saying, I just stop reading. It's oh so simple. But I am hesitant to really let loose on anonymous because I don't want more creepy people coming to my blog. Don't these people know that we are in delicate states of mind? Do you really want to mess with crazy women (especially when they are on fertility drugs)? I's not for our sakes....really. It's for theirs.

S said...

Hell hath no fury than a woman on fertility meds!

Thanks Vix-you're the best-MWAH!

Shelli said...

wtf!!!! it sounds like my mom. Sheesh!


don't worry, us gals are here to pertek ya, chika!