Sunday, November 19, 2006

9dp3dt

So, I didn't even get to use the Evil Pee Stick of Despair this morning. When I woke up, I went to the bathroom, and when I wiped there was blood. Bright red blood. Nothing in the toilet, no clots. But, blood.

And the cramping is still there.

I called the RE's office and spoke to a nurse. She told me that it could be my period, or I could be pregnant-it's difficult at this time to tell between pregnancy and periods, because apparently women who go through ART are more likely to bleed during pregnancy. She just said to try to keep off of my feet and take it easy today. However, they're moving up my beta to tomorrow-I mean, why prolong the inevitable? Just put me out of my misery.

It's going to be negative. Again. I just know it. I'm just numb-I don't know what to do anymore. Why won't this work for me? Why is my body failing me yet again? Why doesn't anyone have answers for me. How much longer can I go on doing this?

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**update**
The spotting stopped. The last time I went the bathroom (to poop-sorry if TMI) there was no blood. I peed a few times before that and there was no bleeding, just a small smear of brown. I am still cramping, though not as much as earlier this morning. I'm just trying to take it easy and relax, but it's so damn hard. At least they'll take me for the beta tomorrow, so I'll know either way.

11 comments:

Nickie said...

Son of a bitch! I'm sorry and I wish so much that I had the 'answer' for you as to why this doesn't seem to want to work. It's so unbelievably unfair.

Inglewood said...

Wish it wasn't so hard. Still hoping for you.

Nickie said...

ok, is it so wrong of me that I NEED you to test - today????? Please? Pretty please? With a cherry on top? Oh, man I hope this is it!!!

Melissa said...

Still holding out hope! We can't give up! Got my fingers, toes, arms and legs crossed for you tomorrow.

Watson said...

I wish you all the best, I know this must be excruciating!

Take care of yourself.

Anna said...

I'm a sucker for hope... and I'm really hoping that you've had implantation bleeding. I've got everything crossed for you, and I'm afraid for you too. Because going through all of this and getting a BFN f-ing sucks. A lot. Prayin' to God things get better.... C'mon, positive beta...

Jessica said...

Oh man that totally sucks. I'm glad it subsided by the time I read the update. I'm hanging out with the rest of the girls in hope-land. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and stalking your blog!

Artblog said...

you must be going through hell, so sorry, courage to you, and lots of it...

shazz said...

I am sorry, quietly cheering from the side lines!!

Kimmer said...

Hoping like hell for you my friend!

Shelli said...

bugger.

when will you know?

love you,
S