Monday, November 20, 2006

Beta

And the results are.............

I'll give you a hint............it's not positive.............

That's right folks, you guessed it-negative beta. Again. I'm batting 0 for 3 right now-three IVF's, three FET's. Or, 39 cycles, if you want to get technical about it.

Perhaps I should just throw in the towel-I mean, it's obvious that it's not going to work for us. What's the point of putting myself through this hell, when I end up with nothing? Nothing except for an extra-heavy period and another month of my life without what I really want. Whoopee-Happy Fucking Holidays.

Peace out-time to make the "why the FET didn't work" follow-up with the RE.

32 comments:

Inglewood said...

Shit. This sucks, sucks, sucks.

Everything I want to say sounds trite. You are in my thoughts.

Yumikid/Kidsquared said...

I'm so sorry. *cringe*

I wish I could say something to make it better.

Shelli said...

bugger bollocks ball sucking shit fuck fuck fuck

Melissa said...

So sorry to hear this! I took the plunge and did a hpt today and it was negative :( It was only 6dp4dt, but my gut tells me this didn't work ... again. THIS SUCKS!

Twisted Ovaries said...

Babe, this just sucks.

I've been lurking and reading. As someone also about to go on to IVF#3 I know how discouraging it gets, especially when everyone around you (me) gets knocked up, too.

I'm around, if you feel the need to vent and swear a lot.

Sassy McSasserson said...

I am so sorry! It just isn't fair. I wish there was something I could say as well. I'm just really sorry.

Hang in there and try to keep your chin up!

Jamie said...

I'm so sorry.... I wish there was something we could do to help.

Please don't give up (even though I know that seems impossible right now). There has to be another option -- another answer --

OHN said...

Shit.

cat said...

I love you and we are thinking about you over here in Brooklyn and sending you support. *hugs*

seattlegal said...

Dammit! I am so sorry. Infertility does indeed suck!

Carol said...

that's a major bummer. so sorry. please don't give up and think it will never work though.

Kimmer said...

Fuck, I'm sorry...

Dana said...

Stef,
So sorry!! It really sucks!!
Hugs!
Dana

Nickie said...

FUCK! That was NOT supposed to be the post you made today. Damnit!!!

I'm sorry. Words are useless.

IV-Ef said...

I'm terribly sorry to hear it.
I've been a religious follower of your blog especially because your cycles have been synced with mine (and because you write about what I feel).I was thinking about you today on the way back from work and the first thing I did was to check our your status. I am so very sorry to hear that.

Please hang in there. Know that there's all of us out here that are really thinking of you and wishing you well.

Anna said...

Oh, damnit to hell. I am so sorry - how truly horribe, and just in time for turkey day. Take the time to grieve, then see what the RE has to say. I hope you have some options on your horizon. You both will be in my thoughts. I so wish this had worked. Damnit.

St. Cecilia said...

I'm SO sorry! Wish I had something cleaver to write but I don't. My heart feels your pain.

Artblog said...

Sincerely, sincerely, really, really sorry for you... This must be fucking, frustrating hell you're going through :(

have you thought about PDG? Just a thought you might want to bring up with the RE when you see him. hanging onto straws I know, but its that or you do indeed give up and that would be a shame :(

Jessica said...

ARGH! I'm at a loss for words but I'm so very sorry. I'd give anything to have this go the other way for once.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry!! Sending you hugs, I was hoping one of us would get it.

lola said...

I'm so sorry. really. thinking of you...

dawn said...

So sorry Stef. That really sucks I don't know whaat else to say.

My Reality said...

I am sorry. I wish life was fair sometimes.

Kath said...

Dear S, I am so very sorry. This is awful.

watson said...

S,

I am so, so sorry! I checked in on you as soon as I got home, and I wish this had turned out differently for you...and I wish there was something I could say.

You're in my thoughts sweetie.

xoxo

MelnHead said...

Oh... :( I'm so sad for you... Many thoughts and I do have a dart board on teh back of my door with .. well, pictures that make me want to play darts..

ilyse said...

I'm so sorry sweetie.

squarepeg said...

goddamnit all to hell. I'm so sorry. to just say it sucks is the understatement of the century. motherfucker.

I'm thinking of you too.

Alice said...

I'm so sorry.

Lut said...

How utterly deflating. This is awful.

Thalia said...

So sorry, S., and sorry not to have left you a message before, I've been having problems with your site.

I hope you are coping ok. I know that's a dumb idea, but I hope it anyway.

Anonymous said...

I cannot even begin to image how devastated you must feel.

I am in the midst of our first cycle, and already, every symptom is a sign that it hasn't worked.

I've been on bedrest since our ET last Thursday, and am convinced IVF, though all the hope that it brings, is surely a form of torture.

The thought of never having children is so heartwrenching, that to throw all of this other medical/scientific parameters into the mix, is just unreal, not to mention the last thing an infertile person can deal with.

We put so much of our souls into this.

I hope the best for you and your husband. You and your body did the very best it could.

Like my Mom told me today, tough times don't last, but tough people do.

You, are not, alone.