Thanks again for the wonderful comments. It makes me feel much less mental than I think I am. It does help, truly.
Sean and I decided that we need to get away, just the two of us, with no pressure to do anything or go anywhere. We've been through so much in the past year or so, and I feel that we need to reconnect with each other and remember why we're together, and to be happy again. Sean was the first to mention it, actually-he suggested Disney World, since I'd never really been there (well, I was, for a half-hour, but we'll get into that at another time....), but it was way too expensive. Plus, there would be tons of kids there (we're limited as to when we could go, given my school schedule), and that wasn't the point of this holiday. So, I was looking online and went onto the Royal Caribbean website-they had a 5 day cruise leaving out of Tampa to Mexico that was just up our alley. Plus-the only thing they had left on the boat was Junior Suites, and they were DIRT CHEAP....so we went for it. We figure that this is our time to pamper ourselves-fuck it all.
We also talked about our appointment last Friday. He kept reminding me that there is no pressure right now to make any choices, that we still have some time. I think that I'm leaning towards the laparoscopy, but I'm afraid that, given that Murphy's Law is somehow attached to my life like a bad hairpiece, they'd go in to see what's cooking and I'll somehow end up with major work, they'd have to do a laparotomy, and I'd end up in the hospital for a few days. Yes, I'm probably worrying for naught, but you know what they say-prepare for the worse, hope for the best. Although, that would also mean going out on disability, which would mean no school.....hmmm......
Seriously, I know, deep down, that it's the best thing to do-my mother told me that she thought that I should have done it a long time ago-but, of course, it isn't at the top of my list of "Things I Want To Experience Before My Ovaries Dry Up". Oh, well.....life ain't easy.
I'm just trying to make it through each day-every day that I don't have a nervous breakdown is an accomplishment. It's not easy, but I can try.