Wednesday, August 03, 2005

4dp5(6)dt-the bitchiness has set in, folks!

Well, I expected it to happen sooner or later, right?

I am so on edge right now-how much of it is from the PMS-like feelings of progesterone therapy, or from just having my nerves stretched, is another story. But, I don't know if I'm going to make it to next Friday without peeing on an Evil Stick or not. In one way, I'd like to prepare myself, that way if it is negative, it won't be such a blow to my psyche. On the other hand, it could be wrong, and why put myself through that?

Arrgh.......decisions decisions. The jury's still out on that one.

I'm exhausted (I'm taking naps during the day), occasionally crampy, getting hungry quicker, peeing a lot, have a headache and a bit constipated (TMI, sorry). All attributed, according to Dr. Vest, to the progesterone. But, I don't recall feeling this way the last time (except for being tired and constipated)-is it pregnancy symptoms, or progesterone side effects? Maybe because I had OHSS and the Crinone didn't work as well, I didn't recognize these feelings because I didn't feel well to begin with?

Or, could I be.......dare I say it......... the "P" word?

Okay, don't want to jinx myself there, let's move on to another topic.......

Let's see, what did I do today? Well, the Verizon man came by today-we've been having trouble with tons of static on our line. Miraculously, there was no static when he came by today. Figures. Murphy's Law, right?

The piano tuner also was here today, so my piano FINALLY sounds like what it is supposed to, not like a sick goose.

I also received confirmation that my new laptop will be shipped next Friday, which is beta pregnancy test day (also known around here as "B" day). Well, at least if it's negative I get a new present to use, I guess.

I watched a great movie on cable called "Magdalene Sisters". It was about how, in Ireland in the 60's, there were these laundries (workhouses) where girls of "questionable morality" were sent (ie. girls who got preggo out of wedlock, or had sex outside marriage) and were basically tortured by the nuns there. Holy shit-it was really disturbing to watch, particularly because apparently it's a true story. If you can catch it, or rent it, do so-it was a good flick.

Oh, yeah, and I tried really REALLY hard not to obsess as to whether or not I'm pregnant yet. I guess, at this point, either I am, or I'm not. I'm just afraid, either way, to find out. Is that normal, or am I just getting psychotic?

3 comments:

betty said...

I think your feelings are normal.I feel just the same-4 days down...13 to go until test day(not that Iam counting or anything)Problem is it doesnt feel very normal to feel like this all the time...if you get my drift.

cat said...

Yeah that's normal. I'm also afraid of both outcomes... because once we get that bfp it will be a whole new ball game of worries. Bascially it appears that the worry does not stop until they get through college and even after that I'm skeptical that there is any relief.

Hoping you get two presents on B day.

Shelli said...

you are totalyl normal - and YES., the progesteroen CAN give you some symptoms, but these sound WAY stronger than you've ever had before...

hmmmm

:)