Cautious Optimism

M came over last night to do my ass shot, which wasn't that bad-the jabbing isn't the worst part, it's when the oil goes in-yeouch! Hey, if this works, I don't care how many ass shots I have to take-I'll do it. She did it, instead of my mother-in-law, because Sean never told her that we were doing the FET cycle-I guess he really was listening to me during that huge argument-and I didn't want to have to explain anything to her at the last minute and have to deal with hurt feelings (whatever-she should have kept her mouth shut the first time and I wouldn't be nervous trusting her, right?).

Yeah, I forgot how much Progesterone In Oil injections hurt afterwards. And, I also (conveniently) forgot how BIG the syringe and needle were! I almost had a panic attack when she uncapped it.

She and Sean told me that I have to relax and take it easy, that worrying isn't going to make anything happen, which they're right. I did tell M that the only thing that would make me feel better is that she "do the deed" with Sexy Josh. She said that if that's the only thing that will help, she'll try to comply......

Heh.

Sean is really not wanting to talk about it. He keeps saying that we need to wait until Monday, when we know more. I know that it's because he doesn't want to get his hopes up, and that's his way of dealing with it. So, it's forcing me to not obsess over it for the weekend.

Shelli called me last night and she (and the girls from my buddy group on FF) reminded me that 38.1 is still pregnant. And, she's right. She told me that the number doesn't matter, it's that it should double every 48-72 hours-that's what counts. I'm not worried so much about the progesterone-when I did the fresh IVF cycle and they put me on the shots because my progesterone was too low on the Crinone, my P4 levels went up to 25, so I know that the shots will work.

And, I know that there could be many reasons that the numbers are low-I could have implanted later, it could be that it's not burrowing in there enough because the progesterone is low. This doesn't necessarily mean that I'll miscarry. I don't feel any differently. No crampiness, no spotting or bleeding.

I don't want to hope too much, but honestly, I just have this feeling that this will stick. I don't know what makes me think that, but I do.

I hope I'm right.