Sunday, August 21, 2005

Sunday Thoughts

We went out to dinner last night-Sean had to move M's shit out of her house yesterday (her closing is next week) and she originally told me that it would "only take a few hours" and that we could make it to Shelli's with no problems. Riiiiight. Nine hours later, Sean comes home, sweaty and sore. M's bedroom furniture, which she bought for the house, is oversized and heavy. Sean and Sexy Josh did most of the work, and they had to go back and forth several times to load and unload furniture. M felt bad (especially since she found out we had to cancel going into the city) and told us that she was taking us out for a steak dinner. Too right.

I purposely chose an expensive restaurant. Yes, I'm a bitch. But it was totally worth it-the food was excellent.

So, we're going in this morning to Shelli's instead, which she's cool about (yay, I get to see the orange room up close and personal!). Then, tonight, we're going to a friend's for dinner and to watch the finale of "Six Feet Under", with G&A. Our friends know that we're going through IF treatment, but they don't know anything about our recent disappointment, and I prefer to keep it that way, at least for now.

Okay, the next part is a bit TMI, so if you don't want to read, then don't:

I noticed that the only time that I'm bleeding is when I go to the bathroom-there's blood and clots in the toilet, and on the toilet paper, but not on any pad that I'm wearing. It's a brownish red, sometimes more reddish, sometimes more brown. I also noticed that, when I wake up in the morning, there's no blood on the pad, unlike when you have your period, you're bleeding at all times, whether you're lying down or standing up. Is that normal? No really horrible cramping, either. It's just weird. It gives me the irrational feeling that maybe it's not a miscarriage.....yeah, I know that thought is crazy. But, since they told me on Friday I've been wondering if the doctors are wrong-maybe I'm miscarrying a twin, and the other embryo is okay? I know that isn't a rational or realistic thought, but it's been on my mind.

Another thought-since I'm Rh negative, did that have anything to do with this pregnancy not working? Maybe I actually miscarried way back in April with my first IVF (when I bled like a pig right before the beta-my progesterone was really low on those Crinone suppositories) and should have had the Rhogam injection, and maybe that's why it didn't work this time?

All questions that need to be asked.


R said...

Hi, I lost our baby's twin at 16 weeks, and our other baby was fine. BUT, my good friend lost what she THOUGHT was her only baby at 5 weeks, went in for a D.and C. and then later found out that she was still pregnant with a second baby!

So I don't want to give you false hope, but it IS definitely possible. Stay away from a d and c!


Heather said...

I would call the doctor tomorrow if you don't start bleeding heavily for a checkup. I've had a miscarriage naturally at 6 weeks just from a blighted ovum and it hurt like an SOB and was messy as hell. Twice as bad as a period. I was actually glad when they told me they would do a D&C for the second loss at 10 weeks. I didn't want the pain on top of it all.

I'm not saying get one though. I agree with Joyce. Have them see what's going on tomorrow if things don't seem to be "normal."

Julie said...

S - I am so sorry for your loss. I just got back and read your posts; I don't know what to say. It is not fair, not at all. I'm sorry.

Shelli said...

it was SOOO lovely to see you - and I almost let the whole "blog" thing slip in front of Sean - ! DOH! I don't think that Cat knew it wasn't public knowledge... sorry there.

Narda and I both adore him, by the by, you nabbed yourself a good one! :)

And I'm sooo glad you had an awesome dinner last night.


Shelli said...

usually towards the end of my period, I'll sleep and not wake up with anything on my pad, think I'm done, swap to a pantyliner and then wish I hadn't, as the dam damn gets opened when I'm vertical...

I'm crossing fingers for Tuesday's beta - that it's either zero, so that you can move on, whatever that is still determined to be, or shot back up, in a good way, with ultrasound proof positive...


AmyMrsR said...

from one RH negative to another...if there was any thought in the Dr.'s mind, they should have done the RH shot last time. However, it's not too late and they can test for RH antibody build up with an antibody screening (I know there's a specific name, I had it done. But for the life of me cant remember) I hope this helps some of your fears. Lots of luck and hugs!

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