Twats and Twat Rockets

First, thanks for all your responses. I know that it's weird to have those feelings, but I knew that you'd understand. I am happy, really-I just don't want to be too happy, just in case (God forbid) something happens. It's still not real for me yet. Maybe after Monday it will be.

I started spotting this morning. It's reddish-brown. I only see it when I go to the bathroom, (no blood on the perpetual pantyliner attached to my undies to catch the leftover twat rocket) and I noticed, on the last pee-run, that there was this grainy stuff in the toilet afterwards. But, when I put in my twat bullet this morning, there was no blood or yick on the applicator.

I called the Dr. Vest's office and spoke to Nursey P. She said that the bleeding is normal-the twat bullets cause the cervix and vagina to become irritated, and it could bleed, since the cervix is really sensitive. She said that if it gets heavier, or is bright red, to get off my feet immediately. She said that there really isn't much that they can do at this point, since my progesterone is pretty good. We just have to wait until tomorrow's beta (hopefully my last one) to see what the deal is, and if I need to continue the bullets and the shots....

Had some "injection drama" today. M is working today, and has an appt with a realtor after work. I have rehearsal tonight (I have to be there by 7), so I called my mother-in-law (an LPN) to see if she could shoot me up at 6pm. She told me that she was having people over at that time (friends from her old job) and, she "wouldn't say no" but if I could find someone else, that would be good. WTF???? This is her grandchild, for fuck's sake! My mother lives over an hour away and has to work tonight (she's a nursing supervisor who works the evening shift) and M can't do it (otherwise it wouldn't be an issue). So, I call my mom first to see what options we have. Bad idea. My mother and my MIL don't exactly get along (my mom thinks she's self-centered, which is a valid point). My mom starts freaking out and calling her an asshole and threatens to call her up. I said not to bother. It's not worth it. I call M at work and explain the situation. Sexy Josh can't do it and she can't do it-she has a meeting with a realtor and he's going with her. She comes up with an idea-her mom works in a urologist's office on the way to rehearsal-she'll call her mom to see if one of the nurses can give it to me. Thank GOD someone will be there, so I have to be there at 6.

I call my MIL back and let her know that it's been taken care of. She says,"Well, I'd do if you really needed me to, but with company here......" Whatever. She lives literally less than 10 minutes away from me. She actually wanted me to go over there and get injected, in the middle of her party-no WAY! That's all I need. I can understand that she had friends over, but, come ON......if it were my kid, there wouldn't be any conflict. I'd be there and do whatever it takes. Especially if my kid were going through what I've been through (and she's been more than aware of our struggles with conceiving).

I hate having to rely on other people. I hate having to basically beg people to help. Sean can't do this (he has a hard time with the shots, and if he's that nervous I don't want him near my ass with a 2" syringe) and I can't give them to myself. Hopefully, after tomorrow's beta/progesterone check, I won't need to be on the shots for much longer. Then it won't be an issue.

She's an ass.

I'm really REALLY gassy today, and I'm a little crampy. Not period crampy, but gassy/intestinal crampy, like the poopie cramps you get when you're stomach's upset or if you ate something that was too heavy or didn't agree with you. No poopie problems, really-just that (sorry if TMI). I'm also a little dizzy today, especially if I get up too fast. And, the hunger thing is still there. I got home from rehearsal last night and had to have something to eat.

All good signs, right? Let's hope they continue.